Change is dificult.  Change is tough.  Change is possible.  There's usually only one thing getting in the way of it:  YOU!

"I'm not trying to change your beliefs or values, only trying to affect your behavior."  H Walker

This quote above is from my dear friend H.  It has stuck with me for many years and have been fortunate to pass it on to many of my friends, colleagues and clients.
As with many new things, people have tried unsuccessfully to change a variety of things in their lives, such as eating junk food, not sticking to an exercise program, getting into relationships they know are bad for them, having negative feelings like anger and anxiety, and procrastination.  Most of these people have tried many different things to produce a real change in their behavior.  Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, hypnosis, books, signing up for a gym and none of them have worked.  Therefore, to them, change is difficult, if not impossible For these reasons, is why they hold on to these beliefs.

That leads us to the obvious question: Why is change so difficult? Very often we know our current behavior doesn’t make logical sense and is self-defeating. We know what we should do instead. We know the value of change. So why doesn’t all that information and motivation result in change?  Clothes too tight from being overweight?  Smell like a bar, anyone?
The answer to this question lies in how we know what we know. The overwhelming majority of people are visual, which means they know the truth about reality because they can see it. “What do you mean you disagree with me, can’t you see that I’m right? Look at the evidence.”





The answer for visual people is always: “Yes, I can see it.” And that is why it is so difficult to get rid of old, limiting beliefs and the behavior they engender: Because we think we saw the belief out there in the world many times.


Later in life we use logic and a bunch of other techniques to try to erase the belief. But our subconscious seems to be arguing: Maybe the belief doesn’t make sense, maybe it is self-defeating, maybe the behavior and emotions coming from the belief are ruining my life… but I saw it in the world, so it must be true.
Why do such people trust their feelings to tell them the truth about reality? Because they think that their feelings are caused by reality, that their feelings tell them something about reality.
For example, if I feel uncomfortable with you and decide not to deal with you any more, why would I act on those feelings? Because I think there is something about you that is causing the feeling, so the feeling must be an accurate reflection of the way you really are.

For such people, using logic or motivation or most other techniques to get rid of beliefs doesn’t work because their subconscious is saying: But I felt (my belief) hundreds of times in the past, so it must be true despite evidence to the contrary right now.

that cause an undesirable behavior or feeling are eliminated, the behavior and feeling disappears also.



When you know how to produce lasting change, it actually is very quick and easy.